Welcome to the January 2008, “Changing World of Business” issue of NorthBay biz. This issue signals the start of our 33rd year of serving the North Bay business community. The magazine has grown and prospered, mirroring the entire region, since that first issue was published in 1975. Over the years, millions of words have been printed in NorthBay biz chronicling the business of doing business in the North Bay.
When we acquired the magazine almost eight years ago, it was with the intention of not just continuing its excellent 25-year history, but improving upon it. We recognized from the outset that NorthBay biz was a special publication serving a very special market. We weren’t going to be content resting on the magazine’s past laurels, but rather wanted to focus on enhancing content in concert with better design to become the voice of business in the North Bay. We were then, and are now, committed to fresh ideas, supporting the vitality of the region and the overall pursuit of publishing excellence—all of which is intended to broaden, enrich and build upon the magazine’s established tradition. However, as we strive to continually improve, we also remain fiercely loyal to our original editorial goals—responsible reporting, in-depth analysis, a commitment to delivering top-notch local coverage and a dedication to serving the best business interests of the community.
In response to a changing, more sophisticated market, we began giving business readers more of what they wanted and needed—stories and features addressing topics that were impacting the region’s quality of life—topics like workforce housing, transportation, jobs, open space and conflicts between growth and the environment. NorthBay biz regularly covers these subjects, and in the process often delivers information and views unavailable anywhere else. Readers and advertisers have responded in an overwhelmingly positive fashion to all the changes we’ve woven into the magazine over the past several years, and I believe they’ve come to understand that the pursuit of excellence is an ongoing journey at NorthBay biz. In that vein, look for new features to be introduced throughout 2008—just as we debuted three new columns: Only in Marin, Simply Legal and Napa Insider, and the new feature Green Scene this past year. And, as always, we’re interested in any ideas you might have on business-related topics you feel should be included in the magazine’s regular coverage. Let us hear from you.
In the uproar surrounding the continued illegal immigration across America’s southern border, a less publicized, but equally serious problem concerning illegal immigration across our northern border has been underreported. I believe it’s high time to shed some light on this growing problem and the increasing concern it’s causing our Canadian neighbors. The following excerpt is from an “underground” Manitoba newspaper:
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop this illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O’Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left. Didn’t even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”
In an effort to stop illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn’t give milk.”
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. “A lot of these people aren’t prepared for rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though.”
When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps, in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the 1950s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on ‘The Lawrence Welk Show,’ we get suspicious about their age,” an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. “I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art history majors does one country need?”
I hope the preceding has broadened your horizons—you’re now aware that our border problems include the northern boundary with Canada, too. Actually, I hope the above nonsense elicited, if not a laugh, at least a smile. If you enjoyed these revelations, don’t miss next month’s column, when we attempt to debunk all this underreported nonsense on global cooling.
That’s it for now. Enjoy this month’s magazine and best wishes to you and yours for a prosperous and healthy New Year!
