Happy New Year! The old year has been rung out. The new one is about to wring you out, then hang you up to dry. Feeling pressured and guilty because you didn’t get the Great American Novel outlined, written and published with all that “leisure time” during the holidays? After an all too brief interlude that included perhaps three or four free evenings or a couple long lazy days at home (unless you followed the advice given in my last column and took a lot of time off), everything is revving up and it’s back into training for the everydayathon of modern life.
Today, every American is a virtual triathlete in a self-invented rat race to do too much. And it’s very hard to give up your “idle” time when you’ve had even a brief taste of it. It’s like taking a long pull on a cold canteen of water when you’re drier than you realized. And you weren’t really aware of how dry you’d become until you tasted that luscious fluid of life. Free time—time to be idle, time to let the mind wander where it will, time to let thoughts and realizations and feelings moosh around until the obviously correct answer pops up, or no answer at all and realization that an answer isn’t really needed at this time—is similar to water in that way.
Sometimes, when we have the opportunity to reflect without the pressures of making immediate decisions during the holidays, we achieve some insight and perspective about what’s good and bad, what’s right and wrong with our lives. We look ahead with some trepidation, knowing full well that, when we’re sucked back into the daily grind, we may well keep on going much as before…unless we make a firm, unalterable
r-e-s-o-l-u-t-i-o-n to change. This, gentle reader, is where New Year’s resolutions come from. They spring, quite literally, from having had a break from our daily routine and the pressures of getting through the (mostly) trivial-yet-stressful events of each working day. This break allows us to take stock of where we are, who we are and who we’re with. Unless you’re one of the Magi and essentially content with your daily reality, you probably have cause to make some resolutions. And, having faithfully read each of my columns this past year, you know this is going to hook into something about wellness very shortly.
Right now is a good time to begin. And a good beginning will be to cease being a victim of TBS (sorry, Ted, we’re talking “too busy syndrome” here). It’s bad enough that Americans are so overtaxed time-wise that they eat mostly on their feet, think of caffeinated drinks as a basic food group and spend their night off each week speed dating. We actually now work more hours per week and take less time for vacation than the Japanese, who are a culture that actually have a special word, kashori, that essentially means “death from overwork.” English is a powerful tongue. Where is our equivalent word? We need it now.
And there’s no relief in sight from the much vaunted promises of technology. Our “labor-saving” battery-gobbling little techno-buddies, like the PC, the cell phone and the PDA, have instead enslaved us by first making it possible, then making it mandatory, that we’re reachable, therefore “on,” 24/7. They first made it possible, and now make it mandatory, that we work and accomplish tasks faster and faster while always carrying a torch for the merciless ideal that our primary goal is to go even faster and more efficiently into the future. Who has time for wellness in a place and at a time like this?
Lest I come across as just a touch too overboard on this subject, let’s take a little reality test. See how you relate to this inventory of unwellness warning signs.
• You can’t get through a single day without listening to the news, even when you know you’re going to hate what you hear. When you don’t listen to the news for more than 12 hours, you become progressively more uneasy and anxious as though the world might be coming to an end and you haven’t been informed.
• You make itineraries for your vacations.
• Your conversation usually revolves more around the lives of others (who aren’t present and who are often “celebrities”) than it does about your own life.
• You are adept at repeating information you’ve heard from major media or from the Internet, but become uneasy and somewhat upset if someone asks how you interpret or have analyzed all of this input, i.e., what do you think about it all?
• You can’t recall anybody’s phone number because they’re all programmed into your cell phone and/or in the information manager on your computer.
• The mere thought of going a whole week without Internet access makes you break into a cold sweat.
• You get bored at home when the TV is off and often find it hard to maintain a conversation when it’s not on to fill in the “gaps.”
• You’re unable to sit still and think in silence for more than five minutes.
• You send instant messages or emails to someone whose desk is less than 50 feet from yours at work.
• You rarely get enough restful sleep, even when you put in the hours that should equate to a good night’s sleep, so you drag through your days and resort to caffeine or other stimulants to keep going.
• You haven’t taken a vacation in the past two years and/or have allowed accumulated vacation time to expire because your cash flow is too tight or your work is too demanding to permit (you think) time off.
If you answered in the affirmative to most of these highly unscientific, albeit no-brainer, questions, you’re headed into deep waters that aren’t very compatible with wellness—of mind or body.
Time for resolutions
These, of necessity, must be very individual. You’ll just have to suck it up and put in some serious idle time to let your brain see things a little more clearly. They’ll eventually come to you: what’s right, what’s wrong, what needs to change.
• Obtain substantially more idle time than you currently get. I can’t tell you how exactly to do this. (I never said this was going to be easy!) You may actually have to make do with less than you currently control, own or make as a trade-off for time.
The rest will follow from this first step. But here are some additional resolutions, offered for consideration courtesy of your local wellness doc:
• Go float in the ocean: no goals, no exercising. Just bob with the waves and current. Be a jellyfish. Come out when you get too cold.
• Take a nap outside on a warm day (good choice after bobbing in the sea).
• Take a hot Epsom salt bath under candlelight (the magnesium salts help relax the muscle fibers) without anyone interrupting you. Aroma or incense is optional. Do this as often as you can. Every night is not too often.
• Go sit on a bench in the nearest park or town square. Sit still, observe everything. Don’t talk. Do this at least once a month.
• Go for a walk without any planned direction; let yourself change direction according to whatever catches your interest.
• Shop just for fresh ingredients for a single meal; carefully prepare it; eat it with great appreciation. Do this at least once a week.
• Read a book in complete silence with your phones and PC turned off. Do this two or three times per month.
• Sleep until you’re utterly rested and can sleep no more. Ideally, do this every night. But always do this at least once a week to pay back your sleep debt.
• Extend foreplay with your partner until you can both hardly refrain from commencing the main performance. Do this whenever the mood strikes.
• Disconnect from network media and commercials; suppress your email chime. Watch a video intentionally, with deep focus and without interruptions. Make it a significant movie you would not normally choose. Then think about it for a while or discuss it with someone.
• Sit and rock on the porch (if ya’ll have one), and spit from time to time. Don’t get up if the phone rings.
• Take all the vacation time and sick leave due to you. Empower your inner Dilbert. This is where you can get some of the time you need for essential idleness.
With this approach to proactive “resolutioneering,” you can have a happier and healthier New Year!
