Welcome to the special annual Harvest Fair/Wine issue of NorthBay biz magazine. Once again, this issue is one of our largest of the year. That doesn’t come as too big a surprise, since it’s long been a reader and advertiser favorite. For more than a decade, NorthBay biz has been the official print publication of the long-established and highly successful Sonoma County Harvest Fair. Inside, you’ll find the 2008 Harvest Fair schedule and guide of events to help you navigate your way around the fun.
This year, as usual, the special Wine issue is filled with fun, facts, figures and fancy. The cover story, “All In Good Time,” opines that cellaring fine wine is sometimes a passion unto itself for collectors, but expounds that cellaring is only the beginning for true oenophiles—the real pleasure is found in knowing exactly the right moment to open and enjoy those dusty treasures. Altogether, there are nine stories in this bonus issue that explore growing grapes and making world-class wines in Napa and Sonoma counties. You’ll also find all our columnists and our regular and new features. So, sit back, relax, pour yourself a glass of your favorite local wine and enjoy this very special issue of NorthBay biz magazine. And then, go out and enjoy the Harvest Fair.
It’s time to lighten up. After railing against incompetence in Sacramento, the budget deficit fiasco, our self-defeating energy policy and presidential politics over the past several issues, a tour on the funny side is overdue. The following is gleaned from the Internet with no attribution, but whatever the original source, it captures some humorous truisms on life. Hope these bring a smile.
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Borrow money from pessimists—they don’t expect it back.
I had amnesia once—maybe twice.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Half the people you know are below average.
Hard work pays off in the future—laziness pays off now.
How can there be self-help “groups”?
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain.
Is it possible to be “totally” partial?
Is there another word for synonym?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
My mechanic said, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
My weight is perfect for my height…which varies.
If your car could travel the speed of light, would your headlights work?
OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The high cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
The speed of time is one second per second.
They told me I was gullible…and I believed them.
To steal from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
Long ago, men cursed and beat the ground with sticks; it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.
And finally, from my good friend Jack Long: In golf, if you ain’t cheatin’, you’re only cheatin’ yourself.
That’s it for now. Enjoy this special issue of NorthBay biz.
