Welcome to the May “Leaders” issue of NorthBay biz magazine. This month’s magazine focuses on individuals and companies that embody success. From the manufacturing industry to the community banking arena and several industries in between, our stories analyze leadership discerning the sometimes-elusive qualities incumbent for success. And, as you’ll discover, the skills employed are diverse and manifest themselves in many ways. I’m convinced every company is only as good as its people. Brilliant leadership, effective marketing and an outstanding product are necessary ingredients, but the real differentiators are the employees. Without capable, motivated workers at every level, the other components necessary for success either can’t be developed or are so diminished that the business remains ordinary at best.
This month, you’ll not only find all our regular industry- specific columnists, but a special guest column titled, “The Turnaround Corner.” As always, we welcome your comments, suggestions and ideas on how the region’s only locally owned business publication can continue to serve you and the local business community’s interests.
Normally, this part of my column is reserved for 800 to 900 words excoriating local and national politicians’ incompetence—criticizing their rush to serve their party, their personal interests and special interests first, with little regard for what’s in the best interest of their constituents. However, this month the fates have conspired to deprive you of my incisive and analytical political rhetoric. (I also know that upon reading this news more than just a few of you just said “hallelujah” out loud. Those smart alecks aside—and I know who you are—I’m still obligated to fill this page.)
So instead of making your blood pressure rise this month, either because you agree with me about all the excesses and intransigencies of government or because you can’t believe somebody of such obvious sub-par intellect is allowed to not only write a column, but publish a magazine, I’m going to share some humorous insights sent to me by my little brother, Bill, in Chicago. He’s the one in our family who delights in torturing the rest of us with his, how do I say this kindly, own unique sense of what’s funny. So here goes. And remember, don’t thank me for this LOL moment, thank brother Bill. He’ll be visiting Wine Country at the end of this month.
• I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.
• I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
• Welcome to Utah: Set your watch back 20 years.
• Just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with limited inventory.
• I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
• I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
• Kentucky: Five million people, 15 last names.
• I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
• Red meat isn’t bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
• The statement below is true.
• The statement above is false.
• Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
• My short-term memory isn’t as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
• Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
• When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine Fred.
• Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
• I like cats, too—let’s exchange recipes.
• Preserve the Spotted Owl (in formaldehyde).
• Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
• Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
• Follow Your Dreams! Except that one where you’re naked in church.
• I’m having an out-of-money experience.
• Don’t sweat the petty things. Don’t pet the sweaty things.
• Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
• I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in horror like the passengers in his car.
And finally, as the page should almost be full, I’ll leave you with these last two:
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the 280 Interstate. Please be careful!” “It’s not just one car,” said Herman. “It’s hundreds of them.”
HEAVEN IS WHERE: The police are British, the chefs are
Italian, the mechanics are German, the lovers are French
and it’s all organized by the Swiss.
HELL IS WHERE: The police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and it’s all organized by the Italians.
That’s it for now. Enjoy this month’s magazine.
Norm Rosinski
