We use egg whites, milk byproducts and/or gelatin to “fine” harsh tannins. She states vegans would object to this, but my two answers are: tough crap and they don’t stay in the wine anyway—they just pass through, collect those harsh little chemicals and settle out in the bottom of the tank.
We also add some acid, when needed, along with bentonite clay, enzymes, and/or isinglass. We also can’t forget mega-purple to improve color (but it’s a grape product anyway). Last, we might add some sugar to improve alcohol content. Sometimes oak chips are added, but only to impart an oak flavor. However, I’d agree that some wines taste like the chips are still there.
She continues on, jumps on the “organic” bandwagon and emphasizes the ingredient label as being more important. Maybe she’s right if you’re one of those believers. To be a USDA organic label, 95 percent of the fruit must be grown organically—and there can be no added sulfites. (Sulfites occur naturally in fermented grapes—we often add some more for greater stability.) If some are added, you can still state “made from organic grapes.” Personally, I don’t give a darn, because I see far too much abuse in the entire organic industry—but those are stories for other times. By the way, I think this woman, and all who agree with her, are being crazy and ridiculous. On a practical basis, I could see complete chaos with even trying to comply. Have you seen a rush to buy organic wines? I think not. Even Whole Foods doesn’t really push them.
Now for some good news: Robert Parker, a living legend in his own mind, will no longer be reviewing California wines. Hooray and howdy dowdy! Parker has about as much finesse in his palate as a sledgehammer putting in a tack. He’s solely responsible for the big, heavy, monster wines with high alcohol for which California is famous (or infamous). To get into the 90-point scores, the wines need to be as graceful as a tank on a bumper cart floor. Maybe we can return to wines meant to be consumed with food and enjoyed without tearing your tongue out. Winemakers: Please stop trying to get 90+ points now and make things we can drink! At my age, the last thing I want is a wine that has to age for 10 years to be drinkable. Hell, in 10 years, I’ll probably be consuming things only out of a straw.
Parker is supposedly heading for retirement and devoting his time to conduct a mixture of horizontal and vertical tastings of California, Bordeaux and Rhone wines from perfectly stored cellars to see how they’re progressing. He’ll be replaced by Antonio Galloni, who joined Parker and The Wine Advocate a few years back to evaluate Italian wines exclusively. Not sure what that means to us here in good old California, but at the very least, we might get smoother, softer and lower-alcohol wines if he follows the Italian traditions. We can only pray now and hope for the best.
OK, last but not least is more good news. Former student—and I use the word loosely—Joel Gott (I like him dearly), with a couple of partners, started a wine company called Three Thieves and are fulfilling my desire with very drinkable wine in a container called a Tetra Pak. Yes, relatively new to us, but very similar to everyday wines in Italy and other European countries. It’s fundamentally a one-liter (compared to a 750mL regular bottle) carton. I tried three different ones from 2007 while fishing the other day, and they were excellent—to my great surprise. I’m not sure you’d call them attractive and would put one on a fine dining table, but they can go anywhere you can take your can of Bud and will hopefully make wine more mainstream. How come you only drink wine at home or with special guests and not at the ballpark, on picnics, fishing or otherwise? I know: You don’t have your special glass, your corkscrew and are afraid of breaking the bottle.
The Bandit, as it’s called, solves all of those problems and is damn good. I should also mention the product packaging is far more environmentally sound, weighing 48 percent less than bottled wine and requiring far less energy to produce. Imagine a case of wine only weighing about 20 pounds instead of the typical 35-to-42-pound full case. It would be much easier to carry up my stairs, but I’m getting old. Maybe they should require an AARP card to buy it. The other new product is called Bota Box and holds only 500mL, or about three glasses for you (and only one for me since the doctor said I only can have a couple of glasses per day).
I should add the Bandit to your homework assignment, since this is a good time of year to be enjoying the great outdoors. Also start thinking “accessibility” every time you cuss at a corkscrew or a hard-to-remove cork. Let’s have some fun—unscrew the cap, put in a straw and enjoy!
Rich Thomas is professor emeritus, Director of Viticulture, at Santa Rosa Junior College. He is also a vineyard consultant in the North Coast. You can reach him at rthomas@northbaybiz.com.
