Welcome to the annual Harvest Fair/Special Wine Issue of NorthBay biz magazine. This is, once again, one of the most enjoyable issues we publish during the entire year. That isn’t really surprising, since it’s long been a reader and advertiser favorite, too. For well over a decade, NorthBay biz has been the official print publication of the Sonoma County Harvest Fair. Beginning on page 37, you’ll find the 2012 Harvest Fair schedule and guide of events to help you navigate your way around the fun. If you’ve never attended or haven’t gone in a while, make sure to attend this year. It’s a guaranteed good time.
As usual, the Special Wine Issue is filled with fun, facts, figures and fancy. Beginning with the cover story on Gina Gallo followed by a story on Family Winemakers of California and progressing through Vineyard Vignettes, Great Tastes and another installment in our “Hidden Gems” series, you’ll be informed while being entertained. Taken together, this issue explores both the lighter and more serious sides of growing grapes and making world-class wines in Sonoma and Napa counties. So, sit back, relax, pour yourself a glass of your favorite local wine and enjoy this special issue of NorthBay biz. Then go out and enjoy the Sonoma County Harvest Fair.
Once again, it’s time to lighten up—take a break from my monthly rants. Taxes, deficits, employment numbers and profligate spending will still be targets, but not until next month. Let’s start with a reprise of some historical quotes, appropriate for this election season, hopefully provoking a few heads to nod in agreement. And then on to close with selected witticisms that will, hopefully, provoke a few smiles. Here we go.
Here’s a dozen quotes representing ageless political wit, in roughly chronological order:
“In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.” —Voltaire
“A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.” —Thomas Jefferson
“Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.” —Frederic Bastiat
“If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.” —Mark Twain
“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress…But then I repeat myself.” —Mark Twain
“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.” —Will Rogers
“What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.” —Edward Langley
“A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.” —George Bernard Shaw
“I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself by the handle.” —Winston Churchill
“The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.” —Winston Churchill
“Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.” —James Bovard
“If you think that health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free.” —P.J. O’Rourke
Next up are the best five smart-ass answers of 2012:
Smart-ass answer #5
It was mealtime during a long airline flight. “Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John seated in the first row. “What are my choices?” he asked. “Yes or no,” she replied.
Smart-ass answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
Smart-ass answer #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the officer said. The kid replied. “Yeah, well, I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart-ass answer #2
A truck driver is driving along on a freeway and notices a sign that reads: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks over to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
Smart-as answer #1
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She isn’t happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly…I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replied, “Your eyesight is damn near perfect.”
Okay, we’re running out of space. Here are seven of the top-selling Country and Western song titles of all time:
#7 I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still Here
#6 My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend and I Miss Him
#5 She’s Looking Better with Every Beer
#4 Wouldn’t Take Her to a Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared She’d Win
#3 If the Phone Don’t Ring You’ll Know It’s Me
#2 I Ain’t Never Gone to Bed With a Ugly Woman But I Woke Up with a Few
#1 It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chewed My Ass All Day
That’s it for now. Enjoy this special wine issue of NorthBay biz.
