Harvest time is always a nervous time, and this year is no different. Some of the most troubling things are labor availability, tank space at the winery and, of course, the weather. The labor shortage this year might just be the tip of the iceberg, since immigration reform seems to elude those idiots in Washington, D.C., who get paid to do nothing. (Did you read the piece in the paper about how this congress has passed the least amount of meaningful legislation in history?)
Much of the lack of labor can be made up by using mechanical harvesters, which, contrary to some winemakers’ beliefs, actually do a wonderful job and replace at least 30 pickers—thus 30 less I-9’s and headaches to deal with. Machines haven’t been developed to put people out of work but have been forced on us due to lack of said people. Gee, if we could spread harvest out over six months, maybe we could put the unemployed to work. (Right!) People with white skin and little work ethic don’t seem able to pick grapes, which is really a miserable job. I always made my classes pick grapes for half a day, which seemed like a week to them, and when done, I’d say, “See, this is why you’re going to school!”
Another advantage of mechanical harvesting is the ability to pick fruit at night when it’s cool, thus reducing oxidation and also cooling costs at the winery. A machine can do about one acre per hour and, depending on yield, costs half (or less) as much as hand labor. The one catch: You had to be smart enough to plant your vineyard with enough space between rows to be able to accommodate the machine. Some hillside vineyards will always need to be hand-picked.
Meanwhile, back at the wineries, they’re faced with what seems to be a problem every year: available space to hold the entire crop. Many tanks and barrels are still full of last year’s big crop, and having a place for the crush is a major problem. More and more vineyardists are opting to “custom crush,” a term that means having a winery crush your fruit and make wine that the vineyardist owns. The word I get is that all of the custom crush availability is already filled. Just what we need is another 10 to 20 labels on the market.
We always hear the talk about how wineries constantly have financial issues, sales are slow—oh, poor me—so I wonder why so many growers in the North Coast are getting into the wine business. There are at least a dozen new ones in Dry Creek Valley alone. It seems to me that wineries must be lying, growers are crazy…or both. Is it true the best way to make a small fortune in the wine business is to start with a big one? I don’t think I really need to mention it, but let’s not forget the most compelling reason to be a winery owner: ego. Enough said.
All of the new entries in the wine business brings up the subject of shelf space, which then brings up labels and their design. I haven’t been able to figure out why there are so many bad labels on the market. If the label is supposed to be an indication of what’s in the bottle, then there must be an awful lot of bad wines out there. They can be bad for several different reasons, but personally, I especially don’t like the ones that are hard to read. Us oldsters don’t see very well in the first place. Black labels, in general, are very hard to read, and when they add some gold, red or some other color that has little or no contrast to the black, they’re impossible to read, even up close. Size of print can also be distracting when you can only wish you had a magnifying glass with you.
Goofy names seem to be flourishing as well, but rather than get eaten alive by a few wineries, I’ll let you decide what’s goofy. (Maybe next month I’ll make a list of goofy names and hard-to-read labels. Can I get sued for just my opinion?)
While on the topic of labels, the Sonoma County Harvest Fair usually has a wine label contest. When you’re there, look them over and see what you think about labels in our own backyard. While you’re at it, look for some key words that The Drinks Business lists as the “10 most irritating wine terms,” and I can certainly agree. Here they are:
10. Icon: Big deal. How many icons can there be?
9. Reserve: This most overused word means absolutely nothing. I’ve seen $4.99 bottles labeled Reserve. They might be to somebody, I guess.
8. Passion: Aren’t all winemakers passionate—at least about something or someone maybe?
7. Terroir: Don’t get me started on this one. I’ve never had much faith in that term, especially with all of the toys and chemistry winemakers have today.
6. Burgundian: Big deal. So what?
5. Boutique: Another BS term that—thank God—is fading in use. Unfortunately, it’s being taken over by “artisan” and “handcrafted.” Are we talking beer, bread or some other commodity?
4. Old Vine: Define this one for me. How old is old, and does it really make a difference? (I used to think 50 was old and now I think 70 is young!)
3. Varietal: Generally misused, since Sauvignon Blanc is a variety but its grassiness is a varietal character. Therefore Zinfandel is a variety, not a varietal.
2. 100-point scales: Probably the biggest bunch of BS there is in the industry. How can you put a point on something so subjective? The 20-point scale is also nearly as useless. Always ask who did the scoring
1. The number-one and most irritating term: Premium and its step-sisters “ultra” and “super.” Need I say more?
Now for homework, go find the hardest-to-read, ugliest label that talks about its reserve, ultra-premium, 97-point quality that’s considered an icon and is made with passion at an artisan winery from old vines grown in X terroir. Report back to me by next issue!
