I should know. Unlike them, I was actually there watching Clark beat Emerson Walls, and celebrated by hugging the guy next to me, who’d been a beer-spilling moron most of the game. Winning cures a lot of ills.
My point is that the Bizys isn’t “The Today Show,” where they’re now begging people in TV ads to come to New York and stand outside to personally witness whether Matt Lauer has a beard this week.
Good lord.
No, to get into the Bizys, you have to earn it. It isn’t about who you know or buying a ticket on Stub Hub or waggling a press pass that says you’re from Rolling Stone just so you can see Eric Clapton in Oakland.
Not that that ever happened.
And it isn’t that the Bizys are some sort of elitist blue-blood-red-carpet-who-are-you-wearing-celb-glam-fest. Regular folks are there, wearing clean clothes, who happen to be the cream of the local business crop.
In short, they’re winners.
Sure, they dine on sumptuous offerings from some of the best local eateries and caterers, sip wines that would make a sommelier blush and, in general, rub elbows with those at the top of the business food chain.
OK, so maybe it’s a little bit of status thing, which explains why I run into so many people who tell me how much they enjoyed the Bizys. Most of the time I nod, smile a knowing smile and let it go. I mean, I’m a journalist; people lie to me on a daily basis. Why should I go looking for it when folks are just making small chat? Hell, the way people view the media these days, I’m lucky if they’re willing to talk to me at all after they learn I’m a member of the third estate.
But every once in a while, I just can’t help myself. I have to have a little fun with the person claiming to have had a grand time at last year’s Bizys.
Not long ago, at a dinner party, I was talking to a nice gent who happens to be an attorney (please insert your favorite lawyer joke here, though maybe not the one about why sharks don’t bite lawyers). When it was my turn to confess what I did for a living, I tried selling him on my driving for NASCAR and that my grandpa and uncle had run moonshine in South Carolina. But he was having none of it. When I mentioned NorthBay biz, he began talking about the Bizys. “What a time we had! You know our law firm won last year? We had way too much champagne. I helped our managing partner write the acceptance speech. It was a better speech, but he was a little hammered by the time he gave it. The delivery was iffy.”
And he did the little air quotes thing around the word “iffy.”
The trouble, of course, was that I knew which firm had really won, and I knew this guy wasn’t any closer to being at the Bizys than I was to being a Republican. “So, what did you think when Jerry Brown gave the opening toast?” I asked.
He hesitated for a minute then plunged in. “Yeah, I was a little surprised when he showed up, but it was nice.”
Pure poser.
His bluff got me to thinking about all the people who claimed to be at the Bizys and all of the bad info floating around. So, here’s a chance for you to test your Bizy knowledge. A little game show, if you will, to demonstrate what you know, Bizy-style, and to separate the players from the pretenders. Answers can be found at the end of this story. We’ll go on the honor system and assume you won’t peek.
Let the game begin
Hi, I’m your host, Biff Gordon, and it’s time to play “So You Think You Know the Bizys?” Each question in the first round is worth five points. Hands on the buzzers? Let’s go.
1. NorthBay biz, the media empire that sponsors the annual gala, began publishing in:
a) 1929, the year when publisher Norm Rosinksi first landed in Sonoma County and began spanking Democrats for causing the Great Depression.
b) 1962, the year where the Gross National Product was $585.25 billion and unemployment stood at 6.7 percent.
c) 1976, our nation’s bicentennial.
d) 1982, the year the Oakland Raiders moved to Los Angeles and nobody noticed.
e) 1991, the year MTV announced it would split into three separate channels, also the last year in which anyone actually watched MTV.
2. The Bizy got its name from:
a) NorthBay biz founder Jimmy Bizy
b) Twitter founder Biz Stone
c) Industrial pioneer Biz O’Rourke
d) They weren’t actually named after anyone. They’re the product of a deadline frenzy of a NorthBay biz writer fueled by too little sleep and too many margaritas or possibly the other way around.
3. The Bizys are made up of how many categories?
a) 25
b) 33
c) 40
d) 50
4. The Annual BEST Of the North Bay is a festive occasion. How do most attendees dress?
a) White tie
b) Black tie
c) No tie
d) Tie goes to the runner
5. While the Bizys have been held in a number of locations over the years, what location is the most frequent?
a) Embassy Suites – San Rafael
b) Santa Rosa Golf & Country Club
c) Peacock Gap Country Club
d) Meadowood Napa
For the second round of our Bizy Quiz, answers are worth 10 points.
1. For which year of the Bizys did Joni and Norm Rosinksi and John Dennis reverse their sartorial roles, with Joni donning a tuxedo and Norm and John wearing evening gowns?
a) 2004
b) 2007
c) 2010
d) 2013
2. How many years have the BEST Of the North Bay Readers Poll been held?
a) 15
b) 19
c) 26
d) 31
3. There’s a minimum number of categories readers have to vote on for their ballot to qualify. What is that number?
a) 12
b) 15
c) 25
d) 30
4. Name the venerable photographer responsible for the show-stopping photos of the Bizys.
a) Bob Rice
b) Duncan Garrett
c) Ansel Adams
d) Lynette McGenzie
5. In 2011, the Bizys were going to have a theme until the idea was vetoed by somebody in the executive suite. Which of these suggestions was not among the possible themes?
a) Pirate Ship
b) San Francisco Giants
c) Wild West
d) Tea Party
Final question, worth 25 points: Name the valet service that makes parking at the Bizys a breeze.
Time’s up, pencils down, please pass your tests forward.
To tally your score, total each correct answer in each round and give yourself the corresponding number of points. Add the round totals together. Divide by the number of Bizys you have actually attended. Add 14 points.
Just kidding about the division and the adding 14 points, but I had you going, right?
Rankings
90 points and more: Your Bizy knowledge is scary. You are a force of nature and a little bit of a nerd.
80 points: Pretty impressive.
70 points: Thanks for playing, we have some parting gifts.
60 points and less: Let’s just keep this between us.
So, the next time somebody pops off about what a spectacular night he or she spent at the Bizys, square your shoulders up, look them in the eye, and ask them what they thought of Norm Rosinski in that off-the-shoulder, raw silk gown with the side slit.
Answer Key
Section One: questions worth 5 points each.
1. C
2. D
3. C
4. Trick question, this is America and people dress the way they wish. Why do you hate freedom so much?
5. B
Section Two: questions worth 10 points each.
1. Another trick question. They only do that at home.
2. C
3. A
4. B
5. D
Final Question, 25 points
C.P.A. Valet
