It’s a Living
Alibi Network (Chicago, Ill.) In a perfect world, you wouldn’t have to lie to your wife/boss/parents about your whereabouts Friday night. In an imperfect world, these guys have your back.
Neuticles (Oak Grove, Mo.) Vanity, thy name is Rover. Testicular implants “allow your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and [aid] in the trauma associated with neutering.”
Origami Boulder Company (Dallas, Tx.) Sells wadded-up pieces of paper for $10. Wadded-up pieces of paper with a haiku are $15. Yes, it’s a joke, but it uses PayPal, so it counts as a business.
Throx (San Francisco) Sells colorful socks in packs of three. Dryers: Do your worst.
Unclaimed Baggage Center (Scottsboro, Ala.) Every day, this enormous store receives more than 7,000 items from orphaned luggage from the airlines. The tagline says it all: You never know what you’ll find.
Anger Room (Dallas, Tx.) Massages are for wimps. Here, the seriously stressed can take out their frustration by destroying furnishings, appliances, mannequins and glassware.
That last one sounds like a franchise opportunity.
Source: www.inc.com
Strange But True
Q. The bright red bumper sticker on the car ahead of you reads, “If this sticker is blue, you’re driving too fast.” Physicists get the joke. Do you?
A. First, a quick lesson on the “Doppler effect:” When a fire truck races on past, the siren comes toward you at one pitch, then the pitch drops noticeably as it goes by, says John Henshaw in an (equation) for every occasion = 52 formulas + (why) they matter. The Doppler effect also works with light waves, with the color of an approaching object appearing bluer (higher “pitch”) and one moving away appearing redder (lower “pitch”). But the speed of light (186,000 miles per second) is so much larger than the speed of a car that the color shifts are entirely negligible. Indeed, to shift a red bumper sticker all the way to blue, you’d have to approach the car in front of you at about 60 percent the speed of light, or 112,000 miles per second—hence the joke.
Source: Bill Sones and Rich Sones, Ph.D.
We’re All Normal
Whenever I eat baby carrots, I have to eat the outside and not disturb the core. If I accidentally bite the core, I get sad.
I can’t enjoy listening to the radio or watching TV unless the volume is on an even number. If the volume is on an odd number, I’ll obsess over it.
I’m nearly 30 and I still have to sleep with at least a sheet covering me (especially my toes) because my grandmother use to tell me the pigs would eat my toes if I didn’t.
I call things when they’re lost. For example, when I can’t find my keys, I walk around calling, “Keys! Keyyyyys! Keeeeyyys!” It works every time.
I can’t walk down a hall without one hand touching/dragging along the wall. It doesn’t matter which hand, but one has to touch.
I count words in increments of five in my head when someone is talking to me. When the person is done, the sentence has to end on a five or I have to say more words in my head until it does.
I can’t close my eyes very long when I’m rinsing shampoo out of my hair because I think someone scary will get in my shower. I’m 28.
Source: www.danoah.com
