I have a cat. I hate to admit it, but I think it’s true. I say “think,” because I don’t really own the cat. She came with the house. The prior occupants asked me to watch her and, three years later, I’m still watching her—accumulate vet bills, food bills and meow endlessly for attention. I claim she’s not mine, but after three years, no one believes me anymore.
The problem with this is, I’m a dog person. I love dogs—most dogs, anyway. I’ve never really liked cats.1 Dogs are cooler. It’s just a fact of life. Sorry to all the cat lovers out there, but until the Fair Employment and Housing Act is amended to prohibit ownership prohibition based on feline status, I will continue to vociferously bark about the virtues of dogs over cats.2
And I’m not alone. According to the United States Humane Society, more than 44 million households have dogs, while only 34.8 million have cats. But quadruped preference aside, almost 70 percent of U.S. households have pets.
Why do we care?3 I don’t really. But as I was driving to work I was listening to a guy from the SPCA talk about “take your pet to work day” and promoting the virtues of “pets in the workplace” policies [See”Heavy Petting,” Oct. 2007]. And I instantly started thinking4 about the different employment and other legal issues that could result from a company’s decision to implement such a policy.
According to the SPCA, companies that have allowed pets at work extol the benefits of their programs. They claim increased productivity, increased morale, and assert that employees will work longer hours when they don’t have to go home to walk/feed/care for their pets.5
But before you turn your office into the modern day version of Noah’s ark, you might want to consider the potential ramifications. First, you might have this nagging thing in your “expenses” column called “rent.” If you do, it might be associated with a lease, and that lease might very well prohibit pets on the premises. So before inviting canine, feline, aviary or equine occupants into the office, you might want to ensure the decision isn’t going to result in your eviction from the premises.
Once you’re past the lease issue, there are other things to consider. Are you going to allow all types of pets (i.e. birds, snakes, fish, lizards, rats, chinchillas) or just the more garden variety (i.e. dogs and/or cats). If the latter, is it one to the exclusion of the other—because if not, I want a front-row invite to opening day at “bring your dogs and cats to our office for the fauna version of World War III.”6
Assuming you go with the popular vote (dogs), you need to figure out if you’re going to exclude particular breeds. Is it a “labs only” workplace, or are all breeds welcome, despite concerns about some breeds’ perceived sociability?7
Irrespective of breed-discrimination, are you going to discriminate against fertility? In other words, you should consider whether you want to require that pets brought to work are spayed and neutered (something you cannot, in some cases unfortunately, require of employees!). If not, you may have bestial violations of your company’s policies against sexual harassment—with other pets or with an employee’s leg!8
Once on the premises (and steeped in the company’s policies), the visiting pets still pose potential problems. Their presence can trigger light to severe allergic reaction in other employees. Those employees could be entitled to accommodation for their allergies under laws prohibiting discrimination, and any reaction that caused the individual to miss work would possibly be the basis for a valid worker’s compensation claim. On the same note, any “incident of aggression,” such as a dog bite, could similarly result in lost work and worker’s compensation claims.9
And what about those pesky little “accidents”? Flatulent employees are one thing, but as dog owners know, a flatulent pooch is quite another. And, pet owners know how difficult it can be to get the scent of an “accident” out of carpet. Who will be responsible for cleaning it up? What if multiple pet owners disagree as to the source of the steaming odiferous mound conspicuously occupying the entrance to the employee break room?10 Or worse, how will the company handle the broken computer caused by the over-exuberant canine bounding down the hallway. Under California law, you may not be able to recover such costs from your employees.
In case you mistake this diatribe as a wet blanket on the hot idea of pets in the workplace, please don’t get me wrong. I think it can be a great idea for some isolated companies. But before blindly promising a pet-friendly workplace, give careful consideration to these issues so that everyone (pets included) benefits from the experience. And, if you have a cute puppy in your possession, bring it by my office for a visit. Sorry—no cats allowed.
1 There are certain exceptions to this, of course. My girlfriend’s deaf, 18-year-old cat that likes to
take showers is pretty cool. But the “outdoor” cat whose favorite hobby is urinating on the threshold of the door needs to be, in the words of any Sopranos-type character—“taken for a ride.”
2 And if the FEHA is so amended, all those bad things people say about California’s legal
environment will have been proven true!
3 More important, why am I getting paid to waste good print space? Yes, paid. I don’t get it either.
4 Exaggeration. It was in the morning and before my third cup of coffee (or first martini). So using
the word “instantly” and any permutation of “thought” is sheer hyperbole.
5 In other words, some make more money in overtime. Sounds like a great benefit to the company
to me!
6 After 3 minutes of trying, I’ve determined there’s no fitting way to phonetically spell out the
sounds of a dog-cat fight.
7 Yes, I’m thinking about pit bulls. And I know, you think yours is cute and friendly. Good for you
(for now).
8 I can see the lawsuit allegations now!
9 And don’t forget about the meal break lawsuits when that voracious canine eats an employee’s
lunch-bound leftovers.
10 This will certainly raise questions as to the scope of the company’s arbitration agreement.
