On Loss and Wellness

Attending a funeral of a loved one is one of those necessary, but often difficult, moments we all must face. It forces to remind us of the fragility of life and of our own mortality. Indeed, life is so fragile and delicate. Yet we seem to be built to ignore this reality until it’s thrust upon us. I pen these words within a modest hotel room in rural Connecticut; I’m here to honor the life of a longtime friend. We lost him unexpectedly and the reasons why are still unclear.

It was within the confines of a small home track development located nearby that his family of eight and mine of seven lived in the 1960s and early 1970s. We were among 66 kids on this tiny street, absent of any serious worries in the real world and the impression that our lives of summertime cookouts, hours of swimming in the community pool, endless games of Capture the Flag held along the contiguous backyards of six or more homes, collecting fireflies and preparation of late-night (i.e. 9 p.m.!) ghost stories was precisely what every 8-year-old in America should be doing with his time. For all the best reasons, our parents shielded us from the dangers, realities and fragility of the world outside our tiny realm.

Of course, life has a way of catching up with all of us. Celebrating and honoring the life of our dear friend is an acknowledgment of the special experiences we shared in our childhood. As we continue into the New Year, we must rekindle our enthusiasm for the best that life has to offer us and to those we love. We must focus on our health and wellness, as they are both distinct—and yet so intertwined. Protecting our wellness, of course, is finding balance in our social, spiritual and personal activities. Of course this is no easy task; nothing important for us usually is too easy is it? A great lineup of writers reveals the latest thinking on these matters and more in our annual “Health and Medicine” issue.

It wasn’t that long ago that the notion of telehealth seemed both distant and mildly ridiculous. Talking to your doctor over a grainy television screen felt both incomplete and (a bit) too speculative. But it certainly entered the mainstream during the pandemic and shows no signs of slowing down. It boosts the bottom line for health professionals, dramatically increases opportunity for those in more remote areas and, most important, has allowed for care for the homebound. While it’s true that many of us ignored regular doctor visits and treatments during the pandemic, telehealth has made the impossible possible for so many. But it’s not a cure-all, and Judy Wilson’s investigation reveals the concerns over the loss of the person-to-person contact that can often reveal emotional wellness issues that even the finest-resolution television monitor could never detect.

Certainly, mental health must remain front and center in our pursuit of wellness. Bo Kearns’ story, “Of Mind and Body,” focuses on both the most elite and the everyday athletes who balance a damn-the-torpedoes toughness with the realities of their own internal worries and fragility when recovering from injury. How is it that we cheer Tiger Woods’ mental determination to overcome countless physical ailments while we also try to understand how other athletes retreat from the limelight at the most critical moments to protect their mental health from the glare of international attention? Recognizing when “enough is enough” has never been more important. Take heart to all what editor Jason Walsh provides in this Health and Medicine issue—including a deep look into the Marin community’s efforts to raise awareness about the emerging, and potentially deadly, fentanyl epidemic. He and his editorial team have created a guide designed to leave you with information to improve your own wellness into the new year and lessons to share with your office and personal relationships.

Please stay in touch with me online at lawrence@northbaybiz.com